I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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