And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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