Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
