bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
