So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
