dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
