Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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