Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
