i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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