I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
