I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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