Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
