oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
only you would photoshop your dick
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
