the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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