my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
