Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
do herpes really smell.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
