Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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