The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
