Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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