Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
