The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
