I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
