you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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