so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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