what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
