Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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