Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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