I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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