i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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