i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
