Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
