Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
