I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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