My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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