I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My hand turned me down
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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