it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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