too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
