that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
