I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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