A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
