I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
