i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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