winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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