why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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