I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
