I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Soap is not a condiment
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
