Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
