Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
