found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
