We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
