if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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