It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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