You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
