That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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